Inconsistancies
by navigated
Summary: "Like the naked leads the blind. I know I'm selfish, I'm unkind. Sucker love I always find, someone to bruise and leave behind." \maiko\


Zuko's life had been, from the very beginning, fraught with inconsistencies. Even in a period of his life that could have been considered its most stable, it was only a semblance of stability, as the combination of his temper and the various mental dysfunctions of the people around him (as Mai had so eloquently put it) there was no way he could ever achieve true stability.

Though for someone with such insight on why Zuko felt so unstable in his place in life, Mai was certainly one of the chief causes. She had spent a good deal of time assuring him that he had been forgiven, if not assuring him she had never been mad at him for anything other than leaving without saying goodbye, it always seemed as if there was something. She would make a comment, something truly backhanded in nature and Zuko would take it poorly and shout at her, she would simply shrug it of, no matter how hurtful he had tried to be in a fit of anger, she would simply shrug and turn on heel and leave him. And they wouldn't speak. They wouldn't speak for days at a time, the both of them being far too stubborn for their own good to admit that they were both being childish. And this happened frequently, far more frequently than Zuko wished. He could have kept his temper, could have accepted the fact that Mai would have difficulty simply letting go of 15 years of keeping to herself in only a few – even with her father out of power, even with Zuko as the new fire lord – she was still the stoic 9 year old he had been pushed into a fountain on top of, even all these years later.

She would be affectionate and demure some days, and others a venomous callous intolerable woman others.

It wasn't as though Zuko was any better. She found him impetuous and angry for reasons he should have let go of years ago. Though if there was anything she could attest to, he was, at the very least, able to surprise her.

It had been a surprise enough when he left the Fire Nation of his own accord to join the Avatar, it had been another thing entirely while, in the middle of calling her an infuriating stubborn hag the words had gotten jumbled up in his mind and came out instead as a proposition of marriage. It took him a moment to understand the gravity of the words he just uttered, and it seemed Mai also had a moment of consideration, as her eyebrows were raised only a fraction of an inch, enough however, for Zuko to understand he had taken her aback. But with a small smile, and a shy lowering of her head, she said;

"No, Zuko."

And she walked away. She had told him once that he was never allowed to break up with her, right before he was coronated, and now, now when for all intents and purposes this would assure her that he had no intentions ever leaving her. She said no. Inconsistencies mocked him. He was certain Mai was doing the same.

She treated the situation as though there was no reason for him to feel as though his pride had been injured (story of his life), that it was the answer he should have expected and that there was no explanation necessary. Despite his attempts to keep his wits about him and not lose his temper on the matter, he did. Though it was significantly more like a child losing their temper because they didn't get their way. She simply pressed her finger to his lips, hushing him, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

"If you have something to say, please say it without shouting at me." She said, her finger still pressed firmly against his lip. She slowly drew her hand away, as though when her hand reached her side again, it would then be his turn to speak, it was almost an unspoken cue.

He huffed (for someone considered to be a figure of authority, he was still a boy when all was said and done), looking away from her, unable to meet her unrelenting eye contact.

"Why'd you say no?" he muttered, staring at the hem of her sleeve, where her fingers idled with a loose thread there.

Mai paused, tilting her head slightly as though uncertain what she had previously said no to that could possibly upset the man standing across from her. She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I didn't think you meant it." she stated as though the sky were blue.

"I asked you didn't I? I wouldn't have asked if I didn't mean it!"

"You were in the middle of yelling at me Zuko, its hard to discern much meaning from you when you get like that." Her voice remained level, she wasn't getting defensive or upset, despite Zuko's voice raising slightly despite any intentions he had to keep calm.

"Well I meant it." He said, sounding sulky again. He was a boy in a man's body, honestly. He too crossed his arms over his chest, looking away from Mai again, as she too looked in the opposite direction.

"Oh."

"Well?" he wasn't about to rephrase the question any other way, perhaps out of fear she'd say no again, or perhaps because he was simply too embarrassed to be asking a question of such importance again, or perhaps he wasn't particularly articulate.

She sighed, shrugging again, looking at him in the apologetic way she had before, resting a cold hand on his shoulder before speaking.

"I suppose I could put up with you for the rest of my life."

And that was that. His position essentially demanded a traditional wedding, despite Mai's protests she understood that it would only further the sense of goodwill and compassion the Fire Nation was still trying to rebuild. It was simply far more fuss than the either of them particularly cared to deal with. The ceremony itself was largely a spectacle, again buying into the need to heal the Fire Nation's long damaged reputation. While Mai's residence was simply across the courtyard, the walk towards it seemed torturously long as she waited for him to retrieve her and return her to the palace gate, looking – and he shouldn't have been surprised – perfectly bored. They were simply going through the motions, having been lectured for hours on what the ceremony would entail, she bowed her head, and he returned the gesture with a very lame and muttered;

"Hey"

Her hand resting on his own they walked the stone path back to the gates, there was no sound, not even from the throngs of people on either side of their walk way, the red lanterns swaying in the breeze.

"You look…pretty." He added, feeling a lump in his throat and a horrible feeling of dread overcoming him.

"This dress is heavy." She said flatly and not another world was spoken.

Somewhere in their lectures they (they being Zuko, and only Zuko) had missed how precisely traditional this wedding was meant to be. As the two of them were ushered, yet again, by a swarm of people, holding red lanterns over their heads, towards an all too familiar door. Zuko briefly looked over his shoulder to Mai, who was simply staring ahead, at the door being opened before them.

Zuko's room hadn't changed in all of the years he had called the palace home (which, admittedly, wasn't all that many) and Mai had certainly seen its interior numerous times before. As the door clicked behind them Mai abruptly pulled a comb from her hair, it cascading down her back. The rigid and formal demeanor she had put on all but vanished, as her careless and bored usual self returned. She kept her back to him as she pulled combs from her hair, the decorative gold adornments ending up an in an unceremonious sort of pile on a side table.

"So. I-" he began before stopping himself, realizing he actually had nothing to say, but simply wanted to speak to break the silence. Mai looked over her shoulder, eyebrow raised expectantly. In response he simply shrugged off his coat. She nodded wordlessly before returning to dismantling her hair.

"I guess somewhere in all of that we got married," she said, her back still turned to him "Is that what you meant to say?"

He swallowed, looking around his room, which seemed far more intimidating than it ever had in the past. He was happy, to say the very least, but it was the unfamiliarity of it all that concerned him. He understood that they were simply going through the motions and that this was all for show, the both of them did, but it didn't make this moment any less serious.

"Something like that." He said, watching her hair move with even her most subtle movements.

She looked over her shoulder again, a genuine smile on her face – while they were rare and fleeting, it calmed him to know that he was the only one who ever saw it.

"Something like that." She echoed, taking a few steps across the room to sit next to him on the futon. And then the silence returned.

It was almost suffocating as the two of them pointedly avoided the other's gaze. Mai heaved a very dramatic sigh before inching closer, putting her hand on his, which had been clenched into the bedclothes.

"You know what they expect of us at this point…" she said quietly, leaning towards him slightly, though her face pointed away.

Of course he knew. Of course he knew and that was why this scenario weighed as heavily on him as it did. Because it was something that he wanted something he had thought about (at length) but something that just seemed so far off, until now. He had just hoped it wouldn't be as awkward as it currently was. They had never struggled for conversation until now, perhaps because broaching the topic at hand was far blunter than even Mai was willing to be. All he did was nod, and she did in return, but when neither of the moved, Mai removed her hand from his and shuffled that few inches back away from him on the futon, sighing lightly.

"You look pretty." He said, looking up at her for a moment before averting his eyes as she too looked up.

"You said that already."

"That was then." He said, feeling bold and brushing her hair from her face, "I mean right now."

"Oh." She said, only the slightest smile playing at the corners of her mouth, her hand returning to rest on his. The tension in his chest was certainly lifting, if not moving somewhere else entirely.

His fingers lingered on her cheek, she always so cold, perhaps it was the difference between being a bender and not, perhaps it was just so she could balance him, it didn't matter the reason, but it was distinctly Mai.

"I don't know, really, what it is I'm supposed to say-" he began, only to be hushed by Mai, who looked up from her lap to lean closer.

"You don't have to say anything." And she closed that distance between them, leaning into their hands as she pressed her lips to his, he could feel, even though it was slight, the smile on her lips.

He pushed himself closer to her, his fingers tangling themselves into the hair at her temple as sharp teeth lightly grazed his lip. It took almost every ounce of restraint he had to pull away, his forehead pressed to hers as he took her face in his hands, thumbs tracing the line of her jaw.

"I just feel like I should-"

"Zuko. Just shut up."

And she closed the distance again, pushing him backwards into the futon, her arm snaking around his neck as she pressed herself against him. Through the heavy rustling of her dress he could have sworn he could hear his heart pounding as she arched her back, her hands pushing the shoulders of the dress down, realizing what it was she was trying to accomplish he too sat up, their lips never losing contact as he fumbled sightlessly with the stay of her dress. She rolled her shoulders, pushing the dress off behind her into a pile on the bed, which slowly slithered to the floor, the bindings that wrapped her chest shortly followed.

He, decidedly, needed a moment. Outwardly it looked juvenile, simply staring at her as he was, but she was beautiful. Her hair so starkly contrasted against her skin, the way her lips curved downward, the line of her neck, everything about her overwhelmed him.

She simply rolled her eyes at him.

And there was a moment of stillness, Mai chewing on her bottom lip, looking somewhat reproachful before covering herself with her arms.

"Well if you're just going to stare at me…"

"No, its not like that!" he spluttered, leaning to put his hands on her shoulders, trying to gently urge her arms away from her, "Its just, you're so-"

"Zuko if you're going to call me pretty again, you've already done it twice."

"What, I can't tell you again?" he said. Of course they would start fighting. Now of all times.

"I'm just saying you already made it pretty clear, and I appreciate the sentiment, but you don't have to keep saying it." She shrugged her shoulders from his hands, twisting away slightly.

"Alright, then I'll refrain from complimenting you in the future."

"I never said that. I'd just appreciate some variety." She yanked the bed clothes around her shoulders and stalked off to the opposite side of the room.

"Can you just take a compliment?" he half shouted, but Mai had already moved far enough away, far enough away to pretend she hadn't heard him. Which was perhaps the far more dignified route.

He shrugged out of his robe, throwing it into the pile of clothes left discarded next to the futon, leaning back into the pillows. He could hear the bed clothes dragging on the floor as Mai paced behind the futon. Of course things would progress this way, of course he would lose her temper because he was nervous. And Mai, Mai was just being Mai. She had tried being as patient as she was capable of being. Several times he felt as though he should speak, but with Mai pacing behind him, and in clearly no mood to speak to him, he kept his mouth shut.

The idea was that one's wedding night was meant to be one of joy, not bitter fighting because the two parties in question were just too stubborn. Once again, inconsistencies were mocking him.


End file.
